This evening we went to a nice local Memorial Day service. Actually, we almost didn't make it. I thought I knew which park it was at, but I was mistaken. We drove around for a long time trying to figure out where it was in town. I nearly gave up, but the last place we looked was correct. My husband teased me that I was ready to cut and run.

The ceremony was simple but nice. A local 8th grader read a lovely essay he wrote for the VFW's Patriot's Pen essay contest. And there's something completely humbling about being in the presence of POWs. I got choked up every time I looked at their group.

This year I don't quite have anything poetic to say about Memorial Day. But that doesn't mean that certain families haven't been on my mind all day long. This year I'll leave the poetry to PFC Becker:

We are soldiers.
We are soldiers in the United States Army.
We are trained to be all we can be.

We fight for the freedom of many citizens of the United States.
We are all ready to meet our fates.

We all volunteer to defend the red, white and blue.
Not only the flag, but for the citizens of our great country too.

Since our country's birth for all these years,
we have been trained to be the best on Earth.

Many times we have went to war.
We will be involved in many more.

Generation by generation soldiers continue to enlist.
Some of us will got to war and definitely be missed.

Some soldiers will return and some won't.
Those who do not, we won't forget and we hope you don't.

Many of us are going to Iraq.
Some of us won't be coming back.

We have loved ones we are leaving behind.
They will always be in our prayers, hearts and mind.

If we don't make it home safely at the end of the war,
just remember we died defending the beliefs of those of many more.

---PFC Gunnar Becker, November 2003

Posted by: Sarah at 01:34 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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I think MSN did a pretty good job on this comprehensive article on military pay and benefits.

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I found a new blog today called The Shield of Achilles. He had a link to the story behind his blog's name, which comes from the design on Achilles' shield in The Illiad:

The engravings include two cities, one at peace and one at war. In the city at Peace, a man had been murdered, and an argument was ensuing over payment of blood-money. In the city at war, besiegers were divided over either sacking the city, or allowing it to pay a tribute for peace. Among other messages, one was clear: Times of War and Peace are both filled with conflict. Moreover, wartime is not always evil and peacetime is not always virtuous; while there is suffering in War, there is also courage, heroism and honor, and during times of Peace there is still murder, cowardice, and greed. Even people negotiating Peace sometimes have self-serving aims.

This is just genius. What a fabulous name for a blog.

One thing that has always frustrated me is the naive idea people have that war is the opposite of peace. All the people who want to Bring the Troops Home Now seem to think that if there's not officially a war going on, then there will be peace. But peace for whom? Before we went into Iraq in 2003, there was not peace in Iraq. There was no peace for Adnan Abdul Karim Enad, the man who tried to climb in Hans Blix's car to escape Iraq. There was no peace for the children who filled jails or the folks who went through a plastic shredder. There was no peace for the women raped by Uday or the families gassed by Saddam. Just because we weren't there, it doesn't mean everyone was flying kites and eating gumdrops.

Conversely, there's no "war" going on in North Korea or Zimbabwe, but I'm not sure I'd want to live in their "peace" either. France is at peace, but that doesn't help you if your car is set on fire during the night. And peace didn't do much for Pim Fortuyn either.

There will always be terrible, awful, inhumane, horrific things going on in the world. Most of them don't fall neatly under the bumper-sticker label of war. There is no such thing as peace; there's just calms between the storms.

Posted by: Sarah at 05:43 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Good article written by a Muslim: How to end 'Islamophobia'

Islamophobia could end when masses of Muslims demonstrate in the streets against videos displaying innocent people being beheaded with the same vigor we employ against airlines, Israel and cartoons of Muhammad.

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Once I got on a roll crocheting borders on my colored squares, I really got into it. I sewed the squares together as I went, so I could avoid having to do all the sewing at the end. Et voilà. I am really happy with how this project turned out. Charlie agreed to model the blanket, since he did such a good job last time. He's so funny the way he averts his eyes any time we hold up the camera. He hates looking directly at it and will rotate his head any which way to avoid it.

Now if we just had a baby to wrap in the blanket...

Posted by: Sarah at 08:09 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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This article on illegal immigration is excellent: The Promise of Home

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At the Milblogs Conference, Andi decided to kill me with her first question. I was expecting softballs, and instead I got a fastball at the head. She quoted an old blog post back to me, and I swear that for the first ten seconds of her speaking, I had no idea what she was talking about. I didn't recognize the writing as my own, and I completely panicked. As she read the very end of the post, I finally figured out what I had written, and then I had two seconds to react. I think I reacted poorly, so I'd like to revisit the question here.

Andi wanted to know what was going through my head when I wrote about this:

My husband's visible discomfort that he might not have another opportunity to put to use all he learned in Iraq, all he has digested and mulled over for two years, stands in stark contrast to the Iraqi quoted in this article:

“What was I going to wait for that would keep me on the force?” said Mohammed Humadi, a police captain who quit in August after one of his commanders was killed and beheaded. “Nothing was going to get any better. I have children, and if I were to sacrifice myself, it wouldn’t change anything.”

I struggle daily with the two opposing camps of the War in Iraq: those who say that the US has no business trying to set up a utopia halfway across the world, and those whose idealism bubbles over into dreams of playing Iraq in the World Cup. But the one thing I do know is that it's a knife in my heart that my husband would give his life for Iraq while this Iraqi would not.

I've had this feeling several times over the years, most notably one year after Saddam's statue came down. I wrote about the knife in my heart much more eloquently that year:

One year ago today, I was so happy for the Iraqis. I sat on the sofa at Fort Knox and cheered wildly as they tore that statue down. I wept for the Iraqis and their newfound freedom; now I weep for their newfound vengeance.

If you remember, the statue of Saddam wasn't the only thing to come down from that pedestal last year. The American flag an overzealous soldier hung up there was quickly taken down, lest the world think we came as conquerors. We were there to give Iraq to the Iraqis, and they've repaid us by burning our dead and hanging them from a bridge.

I felt the knife again when I saw protestors in Pakistan carrying a sign saying "Our religion does not allow unconditional freedom of speech."

The past five years have been a cycle of conviction and doubt.

I read this comments section today at Standing By, and I don't know what to say. I don't want to argue for or against the war anymore; it's just my job to help my husband as he fights it. The fact that he still wants to fight it speaks volumes to me. He's the one who's worked with Iraqis. He's the one who's been to Najaf. He's the one who has to work on cultural cross-breeding. I will defer to his opinion on this matter in nearly every case.

But the knife in the heart comes in the cold sweat of realizing that his convictions could someday take his life. The perspective comes when I realize that it's better to lose his life to convictions than to cancer, car crashes, or crap.

I struggle. I think that's jarring for some people because they want me to remain this caricature of a warmonger. The times when I express doubt about the war are the times I get the most comments from anti-war types, chipping away at my armor or jeering me for setting down my flag when my arms get tired of waving. But I'm a normal human being who thinks about issues, not just some automaton who does whatever Karl Rove says. I actually think about this war, and some days I feel stronger than others.

I assume the Iraqis do too, which is why it's not always fair to cherry-pick things to doubt.

I figure I may never know the lasting effect of Operation Iraqi Freedom. I could be long gone before we really know the legacy of the War on Terror. But I can hope, hope my husband's work will bear fruit.

And doubt some days too.

Posted by: Sarah at 05:47 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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My husband is so smart it's scary. I'm fairly certain he'd choose dinner with Benajmin Netanyahu over Superbowl tickets any day of the week. The thicker and more boring the book, the more excited he is to read it. He never ceases to frighten me with his knowledge.

My husband's brain is like a sponge, and he completely absorbs anything he thinks is important enough to notice. Several years ago, he realized that understanding this Islam Stuff was important, so he set to work learning what he could about Muslims and Arabs. Someone like me can hold her own with names like Sadr and Zawahiri and can handle basic conversations about the region, but my understanding of Islam and the War on Terror is positively pedestrian compared to my husband's. He set out to learn this stuff, and I'll be goldarned if he didn't learn it.

The Army hires college professors to teach the history and culture portions of Civil Affairs training. The other day in class, the professor admitted that my husband knows Islamic history better than he does, after my husband gently corrected him on a couple of historical points.

Because my husband thinks this knowledge is crucial, he doesn't slack off. He knows names and dates and Mohammed's lineage and tidbits I can't even begin to fathom. He knows more about Tajikistan than anyone from Missouri should ever need to know, and he's already speaking basic Farsi sentences despite the fact his language course doesn't start until September. The man is phenomenal.

Our fifth wedding anniversary is a couple weeks away, and I can't help but think about the time I heard Neal Boortz say that you don't even know what love is until you've been married for five years. I think he's right. The qualities that made me fall in love with my husband back in 1999 -- the fact that he wanted to talk about Sartre and Charlemagne at frat parties and that he was captain of the College Bowl team -- have only grown more pronounced over the past five years.

Love is knowing how truly lucky you are to have such a person in your life.

Posted by: Sarah at 07:01 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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1 awwwwwww. I know what you mean.

Posted by: airforcewife at May 23, 2007 04:44 AM (0dU3f)

2 Well, we all knew he was uber-smart. He married you, didn't he? Oh, and in case I miss it in the next bit - Happy 5th Anniversary. :-)

Posted by: Tammi at May 23, 2007 06:18 AM (Bitcf)

3 If I didn't know better, I would be highly suspicious that you were talking about MY husband. And having been married for 8 years now, I certainly love my husband more today than I did 3 years ago, and my love for him only continues to grow. It is wonderful.

Posted by: Butterfly Wife at May 23, 2007 11:16 AM (/LiOe)

4 can you talk with my wife? ....just kidding.

Posted by: Mr Bob at May 24, 2007 12:41 PM (yfyy+)

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The heavy lifting is done.

But the perfect method I had concocted for how to put all the squares together ended up looking like absolute crap. I thought I could just crochet the squares together, forming a nice border between each one. I didn't count on it looking like garbage. So we're at a standstill, and I've moved on to another project to calm down a bit.

I think what I will end up doing is crocheting a border around each square and then sewing them together. Not something I am looking forward to doing, but oh well.

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Bill Whittle's newest is finally up: You Are Not Alone

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Annika, who will quit blogging in exactly six and a half hours, isn't going out with Miss America waves and reruns. She managed to find these hilarious quotes from rockers who are wising up to the fact that their benefit concerts don't really help much of anything.

Annika, you will be missed.

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I almost didn't want to go see Spiderman 3 because of the crappy behavior of the lead actors. Nothing says "hype our movie" like the actors talking about how much they resented having to make a third one. God forbid you have to be in a movie that people actually want to go see. How tragic. Sheesh, I was almost too annoyed to go. The older I get, the less I can stomach celebrities.

But we were treated to a real class act when Billy Blanks showed up at SpouseBUZZ Live. He acted like the military spouse audience was the celebrity, which was downright touching. He was super-nice, and I hope he knows how much we appreciated his visit.

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Last night we watched The Last King of Scotland, and I was so disgusted at the end of the movie that I lost sleep over it. Yes, I know the story portrayed is fiction, but Idi Amin was most certainly real.

What disgusts me the most is that there are rulers out there like Amin, yet people persist in calling President Bush evil. Have we no sense of evil? People in North Korea are eating children, but some American citizens can't stand to be associated with the American flag.

Google gets 1,850,000 hits for "George Bush evil" but only 178,000 for "Idi Amin evil." 65,700 for Arafat; 623,000 for Kim Jong-Il; and 264,000 for Mugabe.

We make me sick.

Posted by: Sarah at 06:23 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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I don't understand the illegal immigrant issue.

Who is it who's arguing for illegals to stay here and get citizenship? And why do they matter? What does amnesty do for the US? Does it improve our relationship with Mexico? If so, why do we care? Does it improve our relationship with legal Hispanics? I thought many of them poll against amnesty.

What is the reason we haven't built that fence yet and that we've got an amnesty bill in Congress right now?

I'm serious here; I really don't grok.

Neal Boortz says it's the votes, stupid. He thinks that both parties are racing to be the one who helps illegals so that when they can vote, they'll vote for the party that got them in. Boortz is an awful cynical guy, but is that right? Is that the reason our elected officials are acting like fools?

I don't think the American public as a whole supports amnesty. John Hawkins found out that a mayor in Pennsylvania who's running on a strict anti-illegal platform won both the Republican nomination and the Democrat write-in! He got 94% of the Republican vote. I think the American people want that fence built and they want our existing laws to be upheld.

So what's the deal with our politicians then?

Posted by: Sarah at 05:06 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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My husband and I have been discussing parenting constantly since we decided to start a family. Our philosophy is that our job as parents is to turn babies into adults. Our child will be a child for about 1/5th of his life, so the real goal is to mold him into a good adult. Thus we constantly discuss which ways we think we can best achieve this goal.

One thing that does worry me is handing the kid over to a school. I know enough Neal Boortz and John Stossel to be completely disillusioned with public schools. But we also don't want to homeschool, so we generally discuss ways we can supplement our future child's education.

This story about elementary school kids using calculators is just sad. I think technology is great, but it's also taken us far away from the fundamentals. I remember getting a pizza one night and the cash register girl accidentally typed in $200 instead of $20. She couldn't for the life of her figure out how much change to give us without the cash register doing it for her; she had to hunt around for a calculator to do the math. Of course, at my job in college I also saw one girl count on her fingers how many hours her 12-8 work shift was. Sigh.

It's not only a problem with math though. Spell Check has killed our ability to bother looking words up. I had another blogger ask me how I could stand Movable Type since it doesn't have spell check, but if I'm unsure about a word, it only takes ten seconds to open m-w.com and look it up. That's way better than Back In The Olden Days when I actually had to do my homework sitting with a dictionary and a thesaurus. When I was teaching college English, I was just happy if students' papers didn't look like they'd text messaged them to me! Yeah, LOL is not appropriate for a college paper, folks.

We have so much power at our fingertips these days -- to be able to find cosines, definitions, and historical figures with a touch of a button -- but as wonderful as this technology is, I can't help but think sometimes that we're losing our grasp on basic smarts.

Of course, this is coming from the girl who patted herself on the back repeatedly a few weeks ago because she used the Pythagorean Theorem instead of a tape measure to figure out how big her knitting project would be. Look at me, I'm a flippin' math genius.

Posted by: Sarah at 08:20 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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1 I agree. I am always looking up words on m-w.com. even when I am reading online I will highlight a word and paste into the search feature. even if I know the word and know that the writer is using it inappropriately, I look it up anyway.

Posted by: Butterfly Wife at May 18, 2007 03:10 PM (RX8Nf)

2 Yeah, I know the feeling, Sarah. What bums me out even more ius that kids use calculators and haven't a clue why it does the things it does, in form or function. Not only are they doing things with technology they don't understand, but they don't even understand the technology itself.

Posted by: deskmerc at May 18, 2007 06:02 PM (obWV/)

3 Thanks Sarah. I have gone over and over this, and although some would tell me that homeschooling is the way to go, it just isn't for our family. And the spelling thing...ugh! It's funny, because I don't even trust spellcheck. When I go back and proofread things I write for school, I catch errors I've made that spellcheck doesn't catch. It just infuriates me how much our kids aren't learning in school anymore. Do you know that my mother-in-law told me the other night that history isn't even being taught anymore? ::Sigh::

Posted by: Robin at May 18, 2007 06:09 PM (XTKEz)

4 Have you ever given a cashier some change to make your change round up to ... say a quarter? and they have already typed in what you gave them... and they get a glassy look... and you have to explain to them you gave them two pennies to make your 23 cents a quarter. weird.

Posted by: jake silver at May 19, 2007 10:57 AM (7wSqR)

5 Here's a good one...we went out to dinner with the hubby's parents last Tuesday. As we were leaving the restaurant, my father-in-law went back into the restaurant to ask for change for a $20. The girl actually asked him, "so you want five $5 bills?" He told us about that, and we just lost it. It's so sad!

Posted by: Robin at May 20, 2007 05:27 PM (XTKEz)

6 Sara, From someone working in the schools, I can say that if you go visit different schools, you will find one that is good. They are out there. These days, teachers feel so much pressure for No Child Left Behind that it is hard to teach art, music, etc. History is taught in the schools I work in though. Wait until you try to find a preschool! That is the hard part. Do you want Montessori, Reggio, child-centered, academic...a lot of options! I definitely know home-schooling isn't for me even though I give credit to parents who do it AND give their children the social interaction they need. Anyway, don't lose hope on our schools...teachers are trying! So much of a child's success stems from the motivation they get at home, and for you all, that will be enough to make sure your child is successful

Posted by: Stephanie at May 22, 2007 01:59 AM (+bp0U)

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A couple of really kind people came up to me at the Milblogs Conference to tell me I was articulate. (Sadly, no one thought to comment on how clean I am.) But I just watched the video interview Mary Katherine Ham put together, and I must say I don't see it. I seriously think I need some botox to stop the horrible contortions my face makes when I speak. Ugh, I look ridiculous. Do I look like that all the time when I talk?

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Over the weekend at SpouseBUZZ Live, I sat in on a seminar on how to start your own blog. One of the wives asked if it was possible to set her new blog to private so only her friends and family could see it. We bloggers all paused: of course it's possible to do that, but as I sat in the audience surrounded by ArmyWifeToddlerMom, airforcewife and her husband, and with CaliValleyGirl glued to my hip, we all wondered why on earth you'd want to.

When I have childrearing questions, do you think I call people from my real life? Nope, I call ArmyWifeToddlerMom. When I had military questions during deployment, Bunker Mulligan was my man. Amritas helps with linguistics, Deskmerc helps with physics, and Annika is the go-to for all things Goldie Hawn.

It is so strange, this my need of you.

CaliValleyGirl told this wife in the audience that setting her blog to private would effectively cut off her chances of finding a best friend. The thing is, we know more about our blog friends than we usually do about people in our real lives. I follow ArmyWifeToddlerMom's parenting life far more closely than even my neighbors'. I know my blog friends' likes and dislikes before we've ever met in person. When The Girl showed up in Germany, she knew everything about me before I ever picked her up at her hotel. When I asked CaliValleyGirl at the Milblogs Conference if she was surprised we were getting along so well, she shrugged and replied that she was not surprised at all because she already knew she liked me.

I thought about this weekend's conversation a lot this week as I read about the Lileks family's trip to Disneyworld. I have read The Bleat nearly every single day since Jan. 23, 2004. I know everything that's happened to him over the past three years, and I know far more about his life than any of my real world friends' lives. He is my friend, whether he knows it or not, and if he ever set his blog to private I would weep like a baby.

Posted by: Sarah at 03:59 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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1 All I can say is AMEN!!! I have been reading your blog for about a month now and I really enjoy it. I think if we ever meet in person we could get along. To be honest I do not want my friends and family reading my blog. This is my place to vent and be me without the worries of soemone taking something personal.

Posted by: Reasa at May 18, 2007 04:55 PM (JfF5d)

2 Tee hee I remember how "stalker"-ish I felt after the first time we met!

Posted by: The Girl at May 18, 2007 08:43 PM (3xdWY)

3 Not necessarily. Everyone is gonna hate me. cert4examHit the jackpot.,SUNHow did it come to this?,OthersWatch me..

Posted by: kimi at December 22, 2008 09:28 PM (60F6T)

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Yesterday I read about how Prince Harry will not be deploying to Iraq, and I really felt bad for the guy. He's trained and prepared with his unit, and now he has to watch his unit leave without him. Any true soldier would find that heartbreaking.

But today I heard that other British families are ticked off about the revelation, saying that Harry is no more indespensible than their sons are.

I too have come to this conclusion, that my husband's life is no more valuable than anyone else's in the military. If I believe this war needs to be fought, I cannot in good faith keep my husband from the battlefield. If he doesn't go, someone else will be sent in his place; just because that person doesn't share my bed doesn't mean he doesn't share a bed with someone else whose heart breaks to see him go.

That said, I think the Prince Harry situation is an entirely different issue altogether. To my understanding, no one is saying that Prince Harry's life is more valuable than any other soldier's. What they are saying is that Prince Harry puts his unit in danger. Apparently they've determined there's a $678,000 bounty on Harry's head. He's so high profile that he endangers the soldiers around him, a fact which is not lost on jokesters who've bought the I'm Harry t-shirt. If my husband could somehow put his soldiers' lives in jeopardy, then and only then would I say he shouldn't deploy.

Harry appears ready to sacrifice for his country. But right now the biggest sacrifice he can make is to stand aside and let his unit deploy without him. The Brits should try to understand this.

MORE TO GROK:

Tammi has thoughts on Harry too.

Posted by: Sarah at 11:09 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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1 My daughter got the best lesson I think is available from this immediately - if the media had shut the hell up from the start and let the boy deploy like he wants to and has been fighting to do, there wouldn't be an issue because no one would really know he was there. I wasn't enthralled with Harry's wearing of the Nazi costume to a party, and he seems to play very, very hard. But all that aside, the real problem in this case seems to be with a media that has no understanding of propriety. Harry's Uncle deployed to the Falkan Islands, so it's not as if there's no precedent for royalty serving in a war zone. Harry's got a lot of dharma to fulfill. I'm sure there's something that he can do, and I certainly hope they find it and that the media keeps its trap shut when Harry does it. That's a tremendously incoherent comment, I know. Sorry - I've been sick this week.

Posted by: airforcewife at May 18, 2007 10:48 AM (0dU3f)

2 Here's my uninformed thoughts on Harry: the Army is good for turning wayward young men around. Lots of guys who join were into bad ideas, but the Army helps them shape up and focus. I had several students in Germany who had been to jail before the Army, and they had learned their lesson and were trying to make something of themselves. And they had nowhere near the pressure that Harry has! I hope the Army's been good for making Harry grow up, and I hope they can find a good job for him.

Posted by: Sarah at May 18, 2007 05:28 PM (vrR+j)

3 Good call. I think the class warfare types will try to turn this into an issue (which it will only be if the media cooperate...ergo..."Some say Harry exercises privilege". In someways this is the "I'm a PC and I'm a Mac" commercial with Harry being the PC. Being the behemoth, there are WAY many more idiozealots writing code to put a virus on Harry the PC than Hobarth the Mac. Hence the six digit price on his head. I wouldn't want to sharing that foxhole.

Posted by: Tim at May 18, 2007 06:55 PM (E9coD)

4 Despite the 'fact' that Prince Harry isn't now going to Iraq, we're betting he does feature in both that arena and Afghanistan, but without the media hullabaloo. He's no fool and neither are the military officers and soldiers alike, all know full well the consequences and implications of any 'no-show' in circumstances he's trained for and relishes. It's worth noting that the 'I'm Harry' T-shirts (www.imharry.com) are more in demand now than before. So maybe the message that we're ALL Harry now has achieved proper cult status among the armed forces everywhere. Thats what I call bravery, defiance and the best humour in the world. Keep doing your bit as decoys and keep the enemy confused! We're proud of you. Algy

Posted by: Algy Johns at May 29, 2007 03:05 AM (3Iar2)

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Jetlag rears its ugly head. I'm back home, but my sleep cycle still thinks it's in L.A. Not good.

Back when I first started blogging, I cared a lot more about trackbacks and cross-linking than I do now. I think the novelty wore off for me over time, and conversely I haven't had a trackback in nearly a year now. But I was excited to get an email from a blogger saying he too has written about the professor who forwarded George Washington's speech. Hooray for cross-linking, I say. It's been harder and harder for me to break out of my blog coterie, and I welcome other bloggers sending me links to stuff they've written. It's a good way to find new blog friends.

Check out the rest of the Lamplighter blog when you have time.

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1 FYI - MuNu doesn't have "trackbacks" anymore. At least not that we can see. (glad you're home. y'all did a great job last weekend!)

Posted by: Tammi at May 16, 2007 09:06 AM (Bitcf)

2 Ah ha! So I'm not as big of a loser as I thought I was! Thanks for the info.

Posted by: Sarah at May 16, 2007 11:11 AM (vrR+j)

3 Ok, I learned a new word today. "coterie" I confess I had to "google" it. Coterie (kote-er-ee) n an exclusive group of friends with a common interest. [French] Sarah is teaching us French...how cool is that!

Posted by: Navy Wife Wendy at May 17, 2007 05:23 PM (CfMHF)

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I enjoyed Annika's gun interview. I will miss her when she stops blogging in a week. And my husband and I really need to buckle down and do some firearms research soon. We've been talking about it since we returned from Germany, but we haven't done anything about it yet. And it needs to get done before he deploys.

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